|
“How
to Develop Self-Confidence
In Speech and Manner” eBook Online Version
The blush-persecuted, timid man is usually found to have lived too much by himself. He has had too much time for introspection. The result is that when he steps out into society he is ill at ease, and its very strangeness causes him embarrassment. Such men very often act awkwardly and unnaturally, not for lack of knowledge, but for lack of familiarity and practice. A gathering of people confuses him, and at the first opportunity he seeks refuge in solitude. Such men, diffident, self-conscious men, should force themselves out into the common society of others where they may learn some of the most inspiring lessons of life.
When you rise from reading a great book that has inspired you to better and greater things, then is the time to set down in writing your new-made resolutions and to put at least some' part of them into immediate practice. Perhaps you have decided to seek a higher place among your fellow men? Then go out among them, prepared to render service. Be interested in their welfare, and give to them freely of your sympathy and cheerfulness. Cultivate a true-hearted and intelligent optimism toward everyone. Carry in your voice and manner a message of hope and good will, and give what you can without thought of receiving.
Possibly you have determined to employ your time to better advantage. Begin, then, to do so to-day. Have a definite program. Be economical of the little spare moments that are so easily frittered away. When a thing is to be done, do not merely survey it, or worry about it, but begin it at once and keep at it until it is done. If you are interrupted, excuse yourself as soon as possible, and apply your time and energies with increased diligence. Work daily toward larger and more important things. Think of nothing as being too high or too great for your ambition. Resolve to waste no time. Outside of your regular calling, devote yourself earnestly to studies and recreations that up build, strengthen, and fit you for larger pursuits.
Perhaps you have resolved to develop more courage and independence. Stand up at once, lift your chest high and full into the attitude of the man you would be. Look the next person you meet straight in the eyes, and as you talk to him put earnestness and conviction into every word you utter. Think of yourself as a strong, energetic, cheerful, positive character, while all the time endeavoring to express these qualities in your face, voice, words, manner, walk, and daily life.
Chapter VI
CONCENTRATION
Distinguished men have invariably had great concentration. In art and science, business and warfare, literature, politics and philosophy, the real achievements of the race have been due to this power. Concentration arises chiefly from being deeply interested, and is allied to persistency and definiteness of purpose. It is an enemy to self-consciousness and vacillation. It enables a man to do the best that is in him. It is a characteristic mark of genius itself.
A timid man is fitful in his habits. He shifts constantly from one thing to another, accomplishing nothing worthy of the name. Is it a book he is reading? Soon he turns the pages impatiently, skims lightly over the most important parts, hastens to learn the conclusion, and casts the book aside. Is it a new business venture? He enters upon it enthusiastically, but at the first sign of difficulty loses heart and gives up. Every change he makes entails a loss of time and energy, so that he is always going but never arriving.
A man makes his own thought world. To cultivate attention he must think and do only one thing at a time. Concentration is the faculty of continuous and intense application. It is not abstraction; hence it can not be offered as an excuse for carelessness. A young man in one of our banks took out for collection a note for $75,000. He received the customer's check for the amount, had it certified, and returned to the bank. The cashier immediately engaged him in conversation, and sent him out again. He loitered on the way, and when he returned the bank had closed and the cashier had gone home. That night the young man told his father how he came to have the check still in his pocket. His father made him telephone to the president and the cashier of the bank, and early next morning the young man handed in the check. The president called him into his office and said: "We do not require your services further."
Thoroughness is one of the marks of a self-confident man. He does everything he undertakes just as well as he can. If it is a business matter to be discussed, he first informs himself so completely that he is able to talk with accuracy and intelligence. If it is a public speech to be delivered, he does not wait until the day before and then put together a few hastily considered thoughts, but all is carefully and thoroughly prepared long in advance. Such a man speaks little of what he is going to do, but first does it and lets his work speak for itself.
|
