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“How
to Develop Self-Confidence
In Speech and Manner” eBook Online Version
The best school at last is the world, and the best teacher is one's self. Any one who ever becomes four-fourths of a man must learn to think for himself. Teachers may guide him in an elementary way, but at length he is placed upon his own resources, and it is only then that his real development is possible. Of course many men are dependent all their lives. They want others to do all their "sums," carry all their responsibilities, plan for them, work for them, and even suffer for them. These men never find themselves.
How readily a man is placed in the estimation of others. Here is one who is constantly joking, or talking about things of no importance. He is treated with indifference and even with discourtesy. He has placed himself low down in the social scale, and no one takes him seriously. Another man, perhaps with no greater natural abilities, is dignified in thought and bearing, has a high sense of his personal worth, and believes himself to be the equal of other men. Others do not dare to belittle him, for his manner instantly disarms any such intention. To this extent he has found himself, has taken his place among the world of men.
A strong motive is a compelling force in a man's life. If he sets before him a high aim, and realizes what it will mean to attain it, he will probably bend every nerve to that one definite end. Such a man will make himself worthy of the respect of others. In his personal appearance, and thought, and conversation, he will instantly commend himself to others He will seek to develop judgment and far-sightedness. He will be industrious. He will seek the counsel of other men. He will be guided by his intuition and conscience. When he believes a thing is right he will do it; when he knows a thing is wrong he will avoid it. He will make each day count toward his certain progress. He will find himself by discovering and developing all that is good and best in him. To such a man any reasonable achievement is possible. Sir Thomas Buxton said, "The longer I live, the more I am certain that the great difference between men, between the great and the insignificant, is energy, invincible determination, an honest purpose once fixed, and then death or victory. This quality will do anything in the world; and no talents, no circumstances; will make a two-legged creature a man without it." This has been the animating spirit of the world's great men. This must be the ruling principle of any one who eventually finds himself.
"We have more force than will," says La Eochefoucauld, "and it is often merely to excuse ourselves that we imagine certain things are impossible." It is easier to let things take their course than to make a path for ourselves, easier to accept the opinions of others than patiently to formulate judgments of our own. But independence and self-reliance are essential elements of greatness. A man must learn to do his own thinking and planning. Doctor Tilley in his inspiring book, "Masters of the Situation," says: "Every man carries within himself to a great extent his own destiny. Undaunted will, unflinching energy, ever and everywhere make their mark and bring success. In business, who is the man who succeeds? The man who thinks clearly, who plans wisely, and executes promptly and with untiring energy."
A man who is not getting on in the world as he should may well question himself thus: What is it I lack to insure success? Why have I not accomplished what I set out to do? Wherein may I profit from my experience as well as that of others? In what way can I better regulate my life? Are there not larger and better ways to employ the abilities I have now? How can I set to work this very day to advance myself to higher things? To what end does my present course lead? Am I surely on the right road, and why am I sure? If I am not on the right road, what is the best way to get on it? Am I improving my powers daily? Am I fitting myself for larger usefulness? These and similar questions will disclose a man to himself, show him his needs, indicate the proper course to pursue, lead him to find himself.
Procrastination will weaken the strongest resolution. The thing that is right to do to-day should be done to-day. Tomorrow a man may have lost his enthusiasm. To-day is the time to strike and to strike hard. No man willingly cares to be classified with the ne'er-do- wells, the non-producers, the shiftless and aimless, who are to be seen on every hand; yet thousands unthinkingly do not rise very far above this class for lack of proper ambition and diligence.
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