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“How
to Develop Self-Confidence
In Speech and Manner” eBook Online Version
Max O'Eell, the French humorist, said: "Luck means rising at six o'clock in the morning; living on a dollar a day if you can earn two; minding your own business, and not meddling with other people's. Luck means appointments you have never failed to keep; trains you have never failed to catch." Here is philosophy in a nutshell for the man who would make the most of his power and opportunities. Let him rise early in the day that he may have every advantage; let him exercise reasonable economy in order to become independent; let him meet every obligation promptly that his name may be a source of capital; above all else, let him keep constantly before his mind a lofty ambition to which he gives unceasing and energetic devotion.
Let every discouraged man remember that Washington lost more battles than he won, but out of his failures he organized success. Neither Demosthenes nor Webster, whose names are associated as the world's two greatest orators, was a good speaker in his youth. In both cases an impediment spurred them to study oratory. Hundreds of men might be cited who achieved distinction mainly because of obstacles to be overcome. Like Lord Chatham, they trampled upon impossibilities. "The battle is completely lost," said an intrepid commander, "but it is only two o'clock, and we shall have time to gain another." No matter how many times a man has failed in the battle of life, he may still hope for success if he can courageously say: "It is only two o'clock, and I shall win yet!"
Chapter IX
GENERAL HABITS
Confidence is marked by composure, fear by haste. It is the sum of a man's habits that determines what he is. Few people realize the difference between the thought habits of a fearful man and those of one who is self-confident.
The man with fearthought in his mind goes to the fields for a morning walk. He looks timidly about him for possible run-away horses. As he walks along, he examines the grass lest a snake suddenly run up his trousers. He hears the mooing of a cow and has visions of the animal charging him, or possibly a distant voice startles him into thinking he is trespassing on private grounds. Meanwhile, with his mind overcharged with these and other fearthoughts, he misses all the beauty and invigorating effect of his environment. A self-confident man, on the contrary, sees first, perhaps, the opal tints in the autumn leaves; sees a profusion of wild flowers--golden-rod, ox-eyed daisies, and sweet-scented clover; hears twittering birds and locusts, watches great billows of gray clouds riding the blue, or sees the breakers rolling majestically on the shore. He sniffs the breeze into his nostrils, and looking heavenward exclaims: "How wonderfully beautiful is Thy handiwork!"
A man should cultivate his individuality and independence. Let him recognize as early in life as possible that there is a definite place for him in the world which no one else can fill. This should give him a sense of personal pride and a determination to qualify for his high estate. There are, of course, established customs which a man must observe, but he should not hesitate to ignore public opinion if he deem it for the highest good. The world's greatest reformers have been intrepid men, who dared to do right in face of criticism, persecution and even death.
Some men devote all their lives to little things and wonder why they never achieve anything worth while. It is as though a man should content himself with conducting a peanut-stand when all the while he might be a great lawyer. Self-imposed limitation, a wrong idea of values, or a narrow and perverted view of life, holds many a man in bondage who might be scaling the heights. It is said that there are still business men who use the backs of old envelopes for scribbling paper while writing-pads may be bought for twenty-five cents a dozen. A mind that is constantly absorbed in little things, that adjusts its eye to see out of the small end of' the telescope, has no place for the large and glorious possibilities of life.
A high quality of self-confidence breeds generosity in a man. He can not stoop to do a mean thing. He pays his way wherever he goes--or he doesn't go. He refuses to be a sycophant. A man should remind himself ninety-and-nine times every day to make the most of himself. His mind as well as his body should be constantly disciplined. The effort to put a new set of habits into force should be as continuous as possible, since many broken resolutions eventually weaken character.
Self-respect is the very basis of self-confidence. If a man makes little of himself, others will make still less of him. If he fails to observe the conventionalities he may easily suffer in the estimation of others. Obsequiousness is wholly distasteful and instantly writes a man down as inferior. It is possible to be gentle without being effeminate. Gentleness is controlled strength. A strong personality does not move in jerks but in curves, and its consciousness of power frees it from the necessity of going on exhibition. Violence is weakness. It is an admission of inferiority, and repels where it aims to control. Anger is an enemy to self-confidence. It dissipates a man's forces and lessens his influence with others. It leads him at length to discouragement.
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