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“How
to Develop Self-Confidence
In Speech and Manner” eBook Online Version
A pernicious mental habit is that of discouragement. Instead of mending matters, it aggravates them and works destruction. Difficulties should be met courageously, for when a man says "I can!" and "I will!" it is marvelous how clouds of discontent may be dissipated. A clenched fist struck upon a table may instantly shake off the shackles of mental servitude. It has been said, indeed, that death itself will wait for a brave spirit. Some men are forever traveling in the wrong direction. "If I travel straight on from here, how far is it to New York?" asked a stranger of a passer-by. "Well," said he, "if you keep straight on the way you are going it is about twenty-five thousand miles, but if you turn around and walk the other way it is about a mile and a half." It is not sufficient that one keep going; he must move in the right direction. Doing the wrong thing many times never makes it right. Experience should teach us not to commit the same error twice.
Our estimate of a person may completely be reversed by some untoward circumstance. A slight money transaction has been known to destroy a lifelong friendship. A trifling criticism, made in an offensive tone of voice, may turn good-will into deadly hate. It is a canon of good form in conversation that only pleasant things be said of any one. Argument, pedantry, inquisitiveness, and interruption are alike forbidden by tact and considerateness.
Every man is more or less conscious at the close of day of duties unfulfilled, of work neglected, or of opportunities lost. He realizes sometimes how much more and better he might have done. He may well ask himself the cause of these repeated failures. Is it lack of will? Is it want of energy, definiteness, or initiative? If he would take conscious possession of the powers within him, all these faculties might quickly be developed. It is not surprising that men fall so far short of their ideal when they make so little effort to attain it.
Avoid the hat-in-hand attitude, the habit of seeking favors, and especially that of wishing something for nothing. Independence is a quality of greatness. A letter of introduction easily may be an acknowledgment of weakness. A man who succeeds with such a letter would succeed just as well without it. The important thing after all is the man himself. Senator Beveridge tells young men to give heed to little matters commonly neglected. He says: '' Use clean linen. Wear good and well-fitting clothes. Take care of your shoes. Look after all the details of your personal grooming." Who will doubt that Senator Beveridge himself owes his distinction in considerable degree to this careful attention to little things!
Courage is admired; fear never is. Courage is dignified; fear is repulsive. A particularly good story is told of a dog named "Jerry." No one knew where he came from, nor what kind of a dog he was, but from the beginning he was kicked and abused as an absolutely worthless animal. His very attitude invited the treatment he invariably received. One could see that he expected to be kicked, and kicked he was. When his farmer-master went to town this dog would slink under the wagon and run along half-scared. The dogs along the route spied him out, however, chased him and fought him until he closely resembled the losing side of the fiercest kind of a dog fight. Altogether he was a very miserable and unhappy dog, and one day, chased by his fellow canines, fell into a trap that had been skillfully arranged by some boys, and down he went into the pit. A little later a young bear of an investigating turn of mind dropt into the pit too, and Jerry at once scented trouble. A series of fights ensued in which the dog seemed to be getting the worst of it, and the bear was putting the final touches on him, when suddenly, Jerry appeared to wake up and to take on a new lease of life. He jumped at the bear's throat and gave him reason for retiring to a corner to reflect a little. From this time on Jerry displayed a large set of teeth not unlike those seen on the top of dentists' sign. He also gave an occasional snarl which caused the bear to remain quietly in his corner. Next morning the boy shot the bear and lifted the dog out of the pit alive. Jerry had completely changed in character, poise and self-respect. He ran toward home with a new self-confident air. His old dog friends did not at first recognize him; when they did the first chased him as usual, but received a surprise that made it necessary for him to be sent to the dog hospital. From this time on Jerry gradually came to be regarded as the biggest dog in town, and he gained the respect and good-will of every dog for miles around.
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