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“How
to Develop Self-Confidence
In Speech and Manner” eBook Online Version
Only recently a man of this type had so completely lost his grip that he could no longer go in person to seek employment, but sent his wife instead. She called upon a leading business house to speak for her husband, but no engagement followed. Why? Because they wanted some one who would be called upon to speak for them, and they felt that he must first be able to speak for himself. A man who lacks the self-confidence to go out into the business world to seek employment, is not likely to be successful in securing customers.
When a man finds himself in this condition the remedy is quite simple. It is a matter of taking hold afresh, of finding a new starting-point. He should reason with himself something like this: “I have a mind, I have hands, I have feet, I have physical strength, and I am certainly equal to many men who are now employed and are succeeding. If I apply myself in the right way, positively and persistently, I am sure to win. I am absolutely sure of it." Merely to think such thoughts as these gives him the desired starting point, and so he begins to plan. We recall a case of this kind, where a man had lost his spirit, and felt that opportunity had passed him by for the last time. One night the overmastering thought came to him that he was as good and as capable as thousands of other men, and then and there he determined to put forth the mightiest effort within him. Next morning he dressed himself in the best suit of clothes he had, assumed a happy expression of face, and went to the business section of the city to find a position. If he had been like some timid men, he would have given up at the first sign of refusal. If he had said to himself that he would go down town and look around, but that he did not think he would get anything, there would probably have been no success for him. But he had made up his mind that there was a place for him somewhere, and he was determined to find it.
At the first place where he inquired, he was told that the principal was very busy and that he could not see him. "But I must see him," was his prompt answer; "the matter is important enough for me to wait, and I will wait until he can see me." To-day this man whom we have described occupies a high and responsible position at the head of a large and prosperous organization.
Young men should be amenable to advice. They should seek the counsel and experience of older men, and learn to avoid their mistakes and emulate their good example. A man should temper his boldness with good sense. Self-confidence should not close a man's mind to the valuable lessons that can be learned on all sides. He should associate with self-reliant men, listen to their talk, observe their ways and habits, both of speech and conduct, and catch their spirit of manhood and independence.
Too much introspection is fatal. It is well to examine one's resources from time to time, but to dwell much upon one's own faults and shortcomings, or on "what might have been," is disastrous to real progress. Why should a man forever dwell upon little, negative, worthless and insignificant things in his nature, when he possesses so much else that is good and noble? Let a man not give even the time necessary to denial of the weak and false that may be in him, but give all his time and energy to developing his divine gifts.
Some men do not begin to live and do things until they are fifty or more. A successful business man tells us that he seems to have been preparing all his life for the great work he is now doing at the age of fifty-five. No man should feel discouraged because of age. It is a mistake to say, "I am too old to do this," "Nowadays they want younger men," "Anything is good enough for me now," "It isn't worth the struggle," or "I've lost my hold." As long as a man has health, there should be a place for him in the world, and the older he is the more valuable should be his experience.
We have met elderly people who might have been doing useful work of some kind, but who repeated over and over again such negative phrases as, "My day is passed," "If I could only live my life over,'' "I wasn't brought up right," "I'm tired of living," "I was too honest," "I should have saved," "I must take a back seat," "I married too soon," "The end is not far off," "I'll welcome death," "Hope I'll go soon," "Be sure not to bury me alive." A man should not dissipate his energies by attempting too many things. It is well to have a clearly-defined object in view and to concentrate all one's forces upon that. In his inspiring work, "Getting on in the World," William Matthews says: "One well-cultivated talent, deepened and enlarged, is worth a hundred shallow faculties. The first law of success in this day, when so many things are clamoring for attention, is concentration--to bend all the energies to one point, and to go directly to that point, looking neither to the right nor to the left."
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