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“How
to Develop Self-Confidence
In Speech and Manner” eBook Online Version
A business man should be a good judge of human nature, know how to adapt himself quickly to unexpected circumstances, know precisely when to argue and when merely to suggest. Arrogance and dogmatism should never be confounded with self-reliance. A disposition to yield, when judgment dictates the wisdom of such a course, is an element in the confidence we have been recommending in these pages.
Who is most rapidly promoted in a business house? Not the timid, apologetic, humble man who is afraid to suggest, initiate, or speak out for himself. It is he who pushes ahead while others contentedly remain in the rut, and who, striving to make the most of himself, determines that to-day will be better than yesterday, and who speaks forth his innermost convictions with unwavering courage. It is this efficient, independent, self-reliant man who is in constant and increasing demand, and who at last becomes indispensable.
Let the man who would succeed in business build his confidence to the highest degree. Let him be strong and valiant in the most difficult undertakings. Let him be eager to assume new and larger responsibilities. Let him keep his counsel, while doing his work faithfully and well. Let him stand proud and erect, with fearthought crushed beneath his feet. Let him realize the inexhaustible power within him that awaits development. Let him cultivate all he can of courtesy, cheerfulness, regularity, promptitude, and determination. Constantly let him affirm "I am, I can, I will, I must, I dare," and no height will seem too great for him. This invincible resoluteness has been the conquering spirit of all highly successful men. This should be the ruling ambition of every noble soul.
Chapter XVII
CONFIDENCE IN SOCIETY
Men who live much in solitude are often surprised to find themselves awkward and embarrassed when obliged to enter society. This is particularly noticeable in literary celebrities who perchance forsake their study and books for some social or public function at which they are expected to speak. But the rule applies here as to everything else, that only through practice and familiarity does one acquire ease, grace, and self-confidence.
At first the painter holds his brush with fear and trembling, because of conscious lack of skill. The musician, too, finds his fingers cold and inflexible, for want of training and skill in technique. The student of dancing is awkward and self-conscious while he attempts to imitate the steps of the master. Even the public speaker owes his first embarrassment not to lack of brains and ability, but simply to insufficient practice.
The first thing, therefore, for a man to do to gain self-confidence in society is to move as much as possible among people. He must become one of them, enter into their interests and foibles, be capable of indulging in "small talk" on occasion, and above all know how to be a good listener. By this we mean he should be able to become absorbed in what another is saying, even tho he wish himself elsewhere. Adaptability is the handmaiden of ability in society. If some one tells a story one has heard before, he will not say "I have always enjoyed that so much!" but will laugh heartily over it as if for the first time.
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